Inspirational

My Story of Motherhood

My name is Kasey and for the first 30 years of my life, my biggest goal was to become a mum. I thought that once I was a mother, I would feel complete and be totally content with my life. Turns out, I was completely wrong. In the last 2.5 years, since having my daughter, I have felt more, experienced more and achieved more than I ever thought possible. It turns out that I did not just give birth to my daughter that day; I gave birth to my real self.

Overcoming Post Natal Depression

Ever since I was 18 years old, I have battled with mental illness. This was exacerbated by bullying, eating disorders and self-harm in my late teens and twenties, so it really came as no surprise to me to be diagnosed with Post Natal Depression when my daughter was 3 months old. After speaking to my GP and being given a Mental Health Care Plan (a totally underutilised tool for new mother’s in my opinion), I was referred to a psychologist. I always knew I was ‘damaged goods’, but it turns out that having my daughter, the one thing I thought might heal me, actually turned out to be the thing that broke me.

I continued to see my psychologist on a regular basis over the next 18 months. She became my safe haven, a place where I could go and reveal all my darkest thoughts and most awful of feelings. She allowed me to say things I was too scared to say to anyone else. Through this process, we broke down every part of the pain I had suffered from the age of 13 (when the bullying began). We delved deeper and deeper and I hit some very deep, dark places. But, you can only dig so far. And from then on, the only direction is up.

Taking the Leap

One night whilst driving home from a particularly intense session in which I discussed my fears for my daughter suffering the same fate as me, I was struck with an idea that I thought was too crazy to pursue. But it stayed in my mind and after discussing the idea with my husband, I decided to go for it. I was going to write, illustrate and self-publish my own children’s book. A book that would not only be educational for children, but would empower them. It would enhance their imagination, whilst teaching them strength and self-acceptance.

However, in order to make this dream a reality, I needed the one thing I did not really have. And that was money. I did some further research and concluded that there was really only one option, but it would mean sharing my story with the whole world. So, I created a Kickstarter campaign. For those of you who have not heard of Kickstarter, it is a crowd funding platform aimed at creatives. You create a campaign, launch a video explaining what you are doing and why, and basically hope for the best.

It allowed me share my story and my passion to help others, and to showcase this, I explained that 30% of all my book proceeds (if it were to be published) would go direct to beyondblue, to help support those who may be suffering, just as I did. I needed $5,000 to print 500 books and I gave myself 30 days to do so. And there it was. My story, my pain, my secrets…everything was online and out in the big wide world. It was the scariest thing I have ever done, but at the same time, the most liberating. To share all the things that for so long bought me so much pain, and to witness people share their own fears, their own battles and show me the love and support I received was amazing.

When I grow up

I reached my goal within 13 days. And it kept growing. Long story short, I smashed my goal, my publisher allowed me to print 1,000 books for my total raised and my kid’s book ‘When I Grow Up’ was published. It was launched on 7th October 2017, to coincide with the start of Mental Health Awareness Week, and the support I received was phenomenal. For more information on ‘When I Grow Up’ please visit:   www.kaseyrainbow.bigcartel.com

A New Direction 

At the beginning of 2018, I started planning my 2nd children’s book. But as I was working on it, I did not feel the same passion and drive that I felt with the first, and decided to focus my attention elsewhere.

I decided to create a book for someone just as important as my daughter, and that was me. BIG LOVE: little book unites 38 women through paper, bringing them together to tell their stories, share their experiences and offer their wisdom. Accompanied by beautiful artwork, imagery and design, this book was created to support women and show mothers everywhere that they are not alone.

To sum it all up, I guess you could say that 3 years ago, my passion in life was to become a mum. To focus solely on one person, and to make that person as happy as possible. And I do. However, in order to do so, I had to focus on one other person, and make them happy first. And that person is me. And now? My goal in life is to help others, be kind and share my experiences, in the hope to be the ‘rainbow’ in someone else’s storm.

2 comments

  1. https://saima95khan.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/power-inside-you/ [https://saima95khan.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/77aabeb61f1f427623241989a7ab9e6b1.jpg]

    Power Inside You saima95khan.wordpress.com One day a question came across my mind that how can one recognize the power within self? So after thinking on it, listening to the experience of the people and learning from my own life also…

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  2. Hello Friend. I just read your post. I am happy to hear that you are helping others with your book. That is great. Is it okay if I tell you something? See, before you were a mother, you were a daughter. A daughter of a king who gave up his life for you. That king is Jesus. Jesus died for you and me, and he is still the Lord above all things. If you want to experience true love, I suggest that you begin a relationship with God. God is the only one who can love us perfectly, even we cannot love ourselves perfectly. If self-love was perfect, then harsh and unfair self-criticisms would not exist. It is common to find people who love themselves but who also hurt themselves. The best gift that we can give to anyone, our family and to ourselves, is the gift of knowing God and experiencing his love. God is willing to forgive you and accept you.

    God says in Isaiah 1: 18
    ““Come now, let’s settle this,”
    says the Lord.
    “Though your sins are like scarlet,
    I will make them as white as snow.
    Though they are red like crimson,
    I will make them as white as wool.”

    God also says in Jeremiah 29:11
    “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”.

    Your past sins, past failures and flaws, do not matter to God. God is willing to cleanse you. He is ready, in Isaiah 1:18 mentioned above, he says “come now”. Building a relationship with God is a win-win. He would direct you, guide you and bless you in this life.
    God says in Isaiah 1:19 “If you will only obey me, you will have plenty to eat”.
    God would also carve out a place for you in the eternal life. So you see, there is nothing to lose except sins and bad behaviors. I strongly suggest that you begin a relationship with him today.

    To build a relationship with God, here are the steps that I recommend:

    1. Confession of faith: you need to find a quiet space. Imagine that Jesus is in front of you. Ask him for forgiveness of your past sins, of the sins of your ancestors. Ask him to give you the strength to forgive those who have offended you. Honestly, I suggest that you forgive the people who have offended you, because whatever they did to you is now in the past, and upon a confession of Jesus as your Lord, you become a new creation. Tell him that you want him to come and be your lord and personal savior, and surrender to him. You need to know that Jesus died for you. He died on the cross so that you may have a chance at salvation. The minute you give your life to Jesus, you need to know that you can no longer live as you wish, you shall live according to the stipulations in the bible. Believe in your heart that Jesus was rose up from the dead by God, and confess with your mouth that he is the messiah and your personal savior.

    2. Prayers: ask Jesus to bless you with eternal life. Tell him to make a place for you in his heavenly abode. You need to understand that praying for heaven is the best prayer that you can ever pray. Life on earth is so short, you need to be worried about eternal life, which is so much longer. God knows that you need clothes, food, shelter etc. He is your creator and he knows your every need. The bible tells us to pray for eternal life and God would provide our other needs (i.e. clothes, shelter etc.) according to his riches. If there is something bothering you, tell God in prayer, commit it to him and ask him to do it for you. However, bear in mind that this life is temporary and so are the things in this life. When you are praying, the devil will try to disrupt your prayers by bringing sudden disturbances and evil thoughts. An example of an evil thought that the devil tries to use to stop people from praying is by bringing the thought that Jesus is not present and that they are simply wasting their time. Jesus is there with you when you pray. So pray like you mean it. Pray the same way you will if Jesus was right in front of you because he is. You need to understand how prayers work as well. You see, when you pray, God answers prayers. God usually has three answers to prayers Yes, Yes but Wait, and No. God has a reason for every answer that he gives. He loves you and he will make sure that everything works out well for you in the end. When you get a No from God, sometimes it is not because that thing is not good for you at that point in time, but it may be because God is trying to draw your attention to something that you are doing wrong in your life. When you get a No from God, you need to evaluate yourself, what is the motive of your prayer? is it pure? Is it Godly? Is there an area of sin in your life that you need to work on? When you reflect on these things and you find something in yourself lacking, try to fix it. When God says Yes to prayers and sends you his blessings, trust me, there are spiritual forces of the devil in high places that work against people so that their blessings from God would not reach them. You need to pray against these spiritual forces. Rebuke them by the power and the name of Jesus. This way, your blessings would be able to reach you. Lastly, some people pray lazy prayers. For example, someone might pray for a job, without actually applying to any. God does not reward laziness. When you are praying for something, you need to be putting some work in as well. God rewards hard-work and we ought to strive to be hardworking. God’s role is to direct, bless, and make your path clear. He would be with you. You need to make sure that you are close to God in prayer. Do not cease to tell him about what you are struggling with. If you are struggling with sins of the flesh that you believe are hindering your spiritual growth, you need to make sure that you tell God. Make sure that you pray for an increment in faith. Faith is important, you need to have faith in God. When we pray, we need to have faith, God does not like it when we doubt his ability to provide us with what we want, he is mighty and nothing is impossible with him. When you are low in faith, pray to God for an increment in faith. Remember to pray for your family, your city, your country and the world in fact, no prayers are too big for God. Pray that unsaved people would be saved. Pray for your non-Christian family members, pray that they see the light and become saved. When you pray, make sure that you take care of sins. The bible says that we need to forgive others if we want our sins to be forgiven. Make sure you forgive others, ask for forgiveness of your sins first before praying. Sins can block your prayers from getting to God. Try to avoid sin, but pray for forgiveness of sins everyday, because sometimes, we are not aware of the sins that we are committing.

    3. The Bible: You need to make sure that you are reading the bible and that you are obeying it. I suggest you begin with the New Testament because the coming of Jesus changed many of the things that were practised before. However, bear in mind that the old testament is also important. You can find free bible apps on google play. You can also find free bibles online. The New Living Translation is an easy to read bible version. However, the most popular one is the King James Version.

    4. Hearing from God: Trust me, God would speak to you. He would speak to you through dreams. Through people, through situations, through the bible and so much more. You need to practice and perfect the art of hearing God’s voice. Dreams contain a lot of symbolism. When you possess an avid knowledge of what the bible says, you would understand the biblical meaning of all the symbols in your dreams. However, for now, you can search online bible dream dictionaries for the meaning of things you see in your dream. You also need to know that although there are general meanings for some symbols, some interpretations are based on context. Take context into account. God does communicate via dreams. Sometimes, you might be asking God for direction on something. Pay attention to the words all around you during this time i.e, the things people say, words you see when reading the bible etc. Sometimes you might even just turn on your TV and the TV anchor would say something that directly relates to what you are going through. Pay attention to these things. You would know it is God’s voice when whatever is said is not in contradiction to the bible and God’s nature. If it is in contradiction then it might just be something random that popped up. As you practise the art of listening and hearing, God might give you the gift of seeing visions or the gift of hearing an inner voice, and take you to deeper depths of hearing.

    5. Fasting: fasting is an effective way to get God’s attention. Fasting is a way to spend time with him. You deprive yourself of food because what you seek for is more than food. There are different types of fasting, and you need to plan what works for you. There is the:

    A. Avoidance fasting: This is a fasting form where you avoid something that you cannot do without i.e. Coffee.

    B. Daniel’s fast: In this sort of fasting, you only eat fruit and vegetables and drink water. You do not eat anything cooked or anything other than fruits and vegetables.

    C. Water fast: In this sort of fasting, you do not eat anything, you only drink water. No food, just water.

    D. Total fast: In this sort of fasting, you do not eat or drink anything. You do not drink even water.

    Make sure that you work out what works for you. You can pray to God for directions on the timing of the fasting to follow. However, as a general time-frame, on fasting days, many Christians fast from 6am to 6pm. Many Christians also use those moments when they feel hungry/ feel cravings as prompts to pray. You need to have increased prayers during fasting periods.

    6. Temptations: When you believe in Jesus. Trust me, the devil sometimes would throw trials and tribulations into your life, the goal of this is to get you to denounce your faith. The goals is to frustrate you. You need to pray and fast when trials and tribulations strike. God would never leave you or forsake you. He would be with you and with God, you will overcome this if it ever happens.

    7. Spreading the gospel: Now that you know the truth, you are chosen. It is now your duty to share the truth in the bible with others. Make sure that you save people from falling prey to Satan’s tactics. You need to join the fight to depopulate the devil’s camp, while populating God’s kingdom. With spreading the gospel, do not feel the need to finish reading the whole bible before you begin. You can teach people the little you know.

    8. Read: There is a lot of material out there. There are ministers of God who have practised for about 40 years. These people have a lot of stories about their ministry. Some of them have the gift to heal others, others see visions, some of them hear God’s voice. Many of these people have written books about how they accomplished what they have accomplished, and how they got their gift. Buy these books and read them. If you do not have money, some of these ministers have shared their stories for free on YouTube, take advantage of that.

    9: Reform yourself: begin to watch Christian movies and listen to Christian music. Make sure that your thoughts, actions, and words are in obedience to the word of God. Make sure that you are not doing anything sinful in your thoughts, actions or words. Refine your world, the space around you, the things you see and hear, make it all about God. You can also join a community of bible believing Christians. However, I need to tell you that there is sectarianism in the religion. Do not pay attention to sectarianism, pay attention to the bible. The bible is your authority. If a church seems to have too much sectarianism issue going on, if they are more focused on promoting their denomination than promoting God and the word in his bible, you need to stop going there. Get a water baptism, and pray so that God would baptise you in the holy spirit.

    (I know I have written this list in the order of 1 to 9. It is crucial that you begin with Step 1. Prayers are something that you need to do constantly, so is bible study, hearing from God and reforming yourself. However, you can start small with fasting and spreading the gospel. You can start by preaching to your family members in the beginning phase of spreading the gospel, but you need to expand on these over time. I know this list seems long and all these seem deep, but trust me, you would blend into it so easily and it would become second nature to you. Pray to God to make all of these easy for you, and he will. The devil would try to trick you into believing that God’s standards are too high and that you would never overcome sin, when in actuality, you can. So therefore, pray to God and believe and he would help you overcome sin).

    If you have any questions, feel free to let me know. If you need to talk, I am here for you. God bless you. Have a blessed day 🙂

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